I realized I need my own rant after reading and posting on "Brown Town", Lisa and Joel's blog! So much of what they are going through right now is what I'm about to go through! Minus the HUGE premature baby incident, we have a lot of the same stuff going on.

I worry a lot about how Delyah and Aiden will get along. Right now D thinks babies are the bee's knees, but will she think so when she can't carry Aiden around? She goes into little hitting fits right now, especially when she's being disciplined or getting tired. It's not a huge deal for her to hit Andy and I, she doesn't do it hard, she's 2, but for a new little baby it's another story!

I wonder what my life will be like trying to take care of a week old baby and a busy 2 year old by myself after Andy goes back to work. We are already always coming and going in opposite directions, it's going to be so hard to do this! I'd feel horrible for waking him up at night for help when he's working and I'm off, but at the same time I'll be so exhausted I won't know my up from down anymore. I don't remember a lot of the first few weeks with D, just being so exhausted.

Speaking of not remembering much from D's first few weeks, I'm scared of how to take care of this baby! I had so much constant help from my mom and dad (constructive AND otherwise) that I'm scared to do it by myself. Andy has even less experience than I do! About my only saving peace of mind is my mother-in-law just down the street whose an RN. She has been quite handy in the past, and I don't expect much different this go around! When all else fails she's a phone call away, which is a lot more than I can say for my own mother!

I know we'll get through it all ok, I just worry. A lot. But that's what Andy's for, to calm me down! Too bad he still has 5 more hours to his shift :(

Delta and poo

So work goes surprisingly smooth today, considering the main tool we use for, oh, everything, Dellserv, got replaced today. Yep, that's right. For those of you who use to hear promises of Dellserv replacements, it's happened! As of today! So relatively chill day, all things considered. I held it together quite well.

I get off work and head to the grocery store to pick up a few things and fill a prescription, no big deal. Ready to get home, that's for sure. Get home to find out my blonde self left my prescription in the cart - in the store. So I waddle my pregnant butt back to the store and find it, feeling all the while like an incompetent idiot who has no right to be bringing children into the world when I can't keep track of my own stuff.

I get home and my daughter had thrown the fit from hell when I left again, so my husband laid her down. She wasn't sleeping, just finding her reset button (which consists of resting and a baba). I lay down and just start crying. My husband isn't ready for work and has to leave in the next 1/2 hour. Another day we don't get to see each other, and I get even more emotional because I wish he'd be ready when I get home so we'd get to spend that 1/2 hour together instead of a hug and kiss as he walks out the door. Again, stupid minor little things.

I start to get over it all with the help of a Big Boy ice cream sandwich. Leave it to ice cream and chocolate to cure a preggo's tears. Delyah starts to get a bit fussy in her room so I brace myself to wrestle a 2 year old for the evening alone. I open her bedroom door and whew buddy! That kid can't say her poop don't stink!

I grab a diaper, some wipes, chase her into a corner so I can catch her to change her diaper. I unbutton a row of buttons to find her diaper wasn't securely fastened and there is literally poo all up and down her legs and her cloths.

Ew

I put it all back together, and head strait to the bathroom and start the bathtub. After getting her mostly cleaned up and in the bath playing happily I turn to clean up the cloths and start the washer - only to find out the majority of the poo fell out of the diaper when I was whisking it off her little butt and out of her reach and had since been crushed into the bathroom rug by me while getting Delyah into the bathtub.


That's just what I needed. On top of all the other stuff from today!!!

So I get EVERYTHING all cleaned up. My cloths, her cloths, the bathroom rug, get them all in the washer. I get her clean cloths and a diaper and a couple towels to lay her on when I pull her out of the bathtub - and she's throwing her bath toys out of the tub, full of water and all. That's when mommy decides bath time is most defiantly over.

You would have thought I fought World War 3 with that kid! Water everywhere, she screamed bloody murder and flailed herself all over the floor before getting this vacant look in her eyes and starts close fist punching herself in the face. I know I don't have it as bad as some moms whose kids bang their heads into walls and such, but maybe, just maybe that paint she's eating off the wall in her room is getting to her. (that's a story for another time)

So by this time hell has strait up frozen over, so mommy decides it's bedtime. Less than 2 minutes of crying and that little girl is out cold. All this within a 2 hour time span!

Whew - what a day! And to do it all alone, 8 months pregnant!

Hop 2 It

I heard about this place from a co-worker with a little girl just a touch younger than Delyah. I thought it sounded amazing! It's a play place for kids. I've heard of these places in bigger cities, so you can imagine my delight to find something here, in Twin Falls of all places! Turns out it is right around the corner from my appartment. I can literally see the building from my bedroom window! They just have all these jump houses, with one designed for kids 4 and under only.

Delyah spent most of her time between that house and the ball pit!  

At one point I went down the slide with Delyah - and quickly learned that pregnant mom's need to have daddies with them for such things!

  We played in the pit for awhile, but it didn't take too long for me to loose my patience with the other kids thinking it was ok to throw the balls at me since I was the "big kid". Those plastic balls can really sting!!! 

 After that I let Delyah go down the slide by herself and a very nice understanding mom lifted her back out when she got fussy!

All in all it was a lot of fun, but she sure looked little compared to those other kids! I'm so use to her being the biggest kid around, or at least the same size as the rest of my friends' kids.  Note to self - don't go on a Saturday afternoon! Definately worth the $5 admission - and parents are free! (and get to play too)

 

Incubus

(Stellar)
Meet me in outer space
I will hold you close
If you're afraid of heights
I need you to see this place
It might be the only way 
That I can show you how 
It feels to be inside of you

(I Miss You)
To see you when I wake up 
Is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same as I do 
Is a three-fold utopian dream

(Warning)
Bat your eyes girl
Be otherworldly
Count your blessings
Seduce a stranger
What's so wrong with being happy?
Kudos to those who see through sickness
When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by
I suggest we learn to love ourselves
Before it's made illegal
When will we learn?
When will we change?
Just in time to see it all fall down
Those left standing will make millions
Writing books on the way it should have been
When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by
Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi
We are like frogs oblivious
To the water starting to boil
No one flinchesWe all float face down
When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by

(Drive)
Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear 
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I am beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes
So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive 
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive? 
It's driven me before 
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that 
When I drive myself my light is found
So whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there 
With open arms and open eyes
Would you kill the Queen to crush the hive? 
Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive?  

Family really is everything

Been a rough couple of weeks for me. Andy and I have been fighting, but we are doing MUCH better now. I got in a fight with one of my best friends who in no uncertain terms told me where I can shove it. Tonight I found out someone from my family has to have all meals with my grandma as she can no longer feed herself and the home she is in is a bit understaffed so they need us to help. 

Is it wrong to want her to die? She doesn't remember hardly anyone in the family anymore, she can't dress herself, bath, or use the bathroom by herself. Now she can't feed herself. Really, wouldn't everyone be better if she was gone? She is a believer, so she has God to go to. The family can stop watching her die. Is that just horrible? I'd much rather she be my grandma, who makes the best biscuits and gravey EVER. Who use to make me do my homework, and we'd watch soap operas and sit in her hot tub and put together puzzles. But if she can't do anything anymore, what's the point? 

A Leap Kind of Christmas

Well, no one can say that Delyah hasn't had ample opportunity to learn her alphebet! That kid has more leap toys than she'll know what to do with! It all started with my mom and I shopping one day with her. We went down the toy isle and handed her different toys to see what she likes and doesn't like. Neither one of us had any idea what to get her for Christmas, or what kind of stuff she might be into. When we got to this smaller stuffed animal leap frog we found the jackpot!

My mom handed it to her, she squeezed the belly, and it started to sing the alphebet to her. She listened to it 4 times before we went to put it back on the shelf and hand her something else. That's when all hell broke loose! Nothing would sate her thirst for leap! She ended up conning Nana into it and it's been a hit ever since. Even caused a baby brawl on Thanksgiving with her cousins, and has since been banned from daycare for the same reasons!

So, running with the idea and success for leap, that's exactly what I look into when I do my own shopping for D. I find a bigger version, with all kinds of different songs when squeezing his feet, hands, and belly. Sure to be a hit. Then dada goes shopping last night and comes home with yet another leap figure, a catapillar whose legs are letters of the alphabet, but it does phonics and colors, too.

It's a BOY!!!

Time to settle into the blues, it's a boy! We get our perfect little family, 1 girl, 1 boy! I'm excited Andy will have a little man around the house. After surviving this pergnancy I know he needs a dash of testosterone around the house! However wee the form may come in.
I'm happy we have decided not to name him Robert Kennedy. Luckily, the only name we both liked for Robert was Bobby, and, well, Bobby Brown just doesn't work so well! No other names in the works yet, except for Aiden Richard. It got a maybe from the finicky husband, so we'll see what else gets thrown out there between now and April 25th-ish.
The ultrasound went well. Everything measured right on target at 21 weeks except the babys stomach, which measured 23 weeks. Even in the belly this baby boy is eating me out of house and home! hehe I'm sure he'll be a healthy one when all is said and done.